Absolutely Not T-Shirt

Absolutely Not T-Shirt

Sage / S
From $29.99
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Absolutely Not T-Shirt
  • Absolutely Not T-Shirt
Absolutely Not T-Shirt

Absolutely Not T-Shirt

Sizing Guide

Find your corresponding size on the chart to guide your purchase. Measurements are in inches.
Color: Sage
Size:
From $29.99

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Premium Everyday Comfort

100% Ring Spun Cotton — Softer, stronger, and more durable than standard cotton. Pre-shrunk, so it fits the same wash after wash (more reliable than the carrots).

Breathable Fabric — Lightweight 4.5 oz fabric that keeps you comfortable until the last weed is pulled.

True-to-Size Unisex Fit — Relaxed, comfortable silhouette that fits most body types with ease. No surprises here, unlike the garden.
Built to Last

Reinforced Durability — Double-needle stitching at the shoulder, armhole, neck, waistband, and sleeves, so it holds up to repeated wear better than your enthusiasm for weeding.

Seamless Collar — Quarter-turned construction eliminates the center crease and keeps its shape over time. One less thing in your life to wilt.

Tear-Away Label — Easy to remove, with tagless comfort and no residue left behind. Removing things cleanly — a skill your garden could learn from.

To keep it looking good — Cold wash. Gentle cycle. Inside out. Air dry when possible. Low heat if you absolutely must.

Treat your Moody Veg with a little respect and it'll stay looking good for considerably longer than that mysterious vegetable you planted three months ago.
Free & Easy Returns

30-Day Money Back Guarantee — Love your tee or your money back. Finally, a guarantee your garden never gave you.

Printed in the USA — All USA orders are printed and shipped right here in the USA. One part of this whole operation that's never once let us down.

🌱Add to your Story...

🌿 Wear It & Share It 🌿

Wearing one of our soft, breathable tees may or may not produce amazing results in your garden. But they will certainly add to your personal story and tell others who you really are!

FAQs

Where are you located?

We're a US-based company, and every order is printed right here in the USA — our print partners are in Florida and Texas.
Do you ship internationally?

Not yet — right now we ship within the United States only, and we're working on reaching more countries soon. Check our shipping policy for rates and delivery times.
Will I get a tracking number for my order?

Yes! As soon as your order ships, we'll email you a tracking number so you can follow your package all the way to your door.
What materials are your products made of?

We use high-quality fabrics that feel soft on the skin and hold up wash after wash. Exact materials vary by item — you'll find the full details on each product page.